


For Christmas

by Usami_chan13



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Gen, Video Game Tag, mostly family fic, slight romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 22:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usami_chan13/pseuds/Usami_chan13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All he ever wanted was to feel like he was home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No More Sorrow

Running fingers through his silvery hair, Souji sighed and pushed himself away from his desk. Glancing at a nearby clock, he decided it was a good enough time to take a break and closed his textbook.

He rose to his feet and stretched his body, cramped from sitting for so long. Before he had a chance to consider what to do, his stomach announced its displeasure of being ignored with a low grumble.

Souji placed a hand to his stomach, but still hesitated. Part of the reason he was locked up in his room studying was simply an attempt to avoid being downstairs as much as possible. Still, he knew he should probably eat something, and when his stomach rumbled again, he gathered his resolve and forced himself to leave his room.

He made his way down the stairs slowly, partially due to the pain that lingered from the recent battles within the television; pushed past their limits, they were all exhausted and sustained many injuries, enough that the damages lingered even as they returned to the real world. He assumed that last fight in particular would be difficult, but certainly not in the way he anticipated. Fighting Adachi had been one thing, and they had spent weeks preparing for _him_. But the following battle with Ameno-sagiri had been especially tough, one they barely managed to win.

And yet somehow they _did_ win, and all their troubles were over. Ameno-sagiri lifted the fog from the town, Adachi was going to pay for his crimes, and all was right with the world again.

…For the most part, anyway.

Because as he looked into the family room, Souji found it hard to ignore the ache that clenched his heart. He observed the emptiness and listened to the silence, so out of place in this house even after all this time, and couldn't help remembering the missing ones who filled that space.

Souji shook his head in slight frustration. They caught Adachi and prevent the shadows from taking over this world, with even some time to spare before the end of the year. It was better that way. But – as much as he hated himself for it – there was a part of him that selfishly wished that it hadn't ended yet, that they were still chasing after the man who caused so much trouble.

He wished for it so he would have something to distract himself from the nothingness that filled the empty house.

Even after the past two months, he was still surprised when he returned with no one to greet him. He had gotten so used to seeing his little cousin sitting and watching television, hearing her happy voice welcoming him back. And no matter how often he reminded himself that she and his uncle were still at the hospital, he continued to be disappointed when neither of them was there when he returned.

After experiencing what it was like to have people to come home to, it was difficult getting used to the lonely silence…like he had before.

oOoOo

_It_ _was_ _so_ _quiet_ _in_ _the_ _house_ _that,_ _even_ _from_ _the_ _kitchen_ _table,_ _Souji_ _could_ _hear_ _the_ _click_ _of_ _the_ _unlocking_ _door._ _He_ _looked_ _up_ _hopefully,_ _but_ _knew_ _even_ _before_ _the_ _middle-aged_ _woman_ _came_ _through_ _the_ _door_ _that_ _it_ _was_ _not_ _his_ _mother._

_"Hello, Ota-san," he called as she stepped into the kitchen._

_"Oh, Souji-kun," she replied, setting down plastic bags on the counter. "You're already home?"_

_He didn't answer, simply returning to the drawing he was working on at the table. Whether he came home to find the woman there, or she arrived after he'd come home from school, Souji knew what it meant if his parents contacted her. Still, he couldn't help asking, "Are my parents working tonight?"_

_Ota-san sighed softly. "I'm afraid so. Your mother asked me to make dinner for you since they won't be home until very late."_

_"Oh…" Though he tried his best to keep the disappointment from his voice, he suddenly decided that he didn't want to work on his picture any longer. Pushing himself away from the table, he slid off the chair and headed to his room, unable to look at anything but his feet._

_He stopped, however, when he felt a hand on his head, and he looked up at Ota-san questioningly. She gave him a small smile as she knelt before him, moving her hand to his shoulder. "Souji-kun," she said softly. "It's been pretty lonely for you lately, huh?"_

_The_ _child_ _nodded._ _"_ _We_ _used_ _to_ _eat_ _dinner_ _together_ _every_ _night._ _But_ _now_ _they_ _'_ _re_ _working_ all _the_ _time._ _"_

_She sighed. "I know… I know it's hard. And they're not used to working so much either. But it's their job, and you have to help them so they can do what they have to."_

_"But how can I help?" Souji wondered._

_"You can be a good boy and not cause trouble for them, so it's easier for them to work." She ruffled his hair gently. "You think you can do that?"_

_Souji_ _nodded._ _"_ _Okay,_ _"_ _he_ _murmured._ _He_ did _want_ _to_ _help_ _them,_ _especially_ _if_ _working_ _a_ _lot_ _was_ _hard_ _for_ _them_ _too._ _He_ _would_ _do_ _his_ _best_ _not_ _to_ _bother_ _them._

_He_ _just_ missed _them_ _…_ _that_ _'_ _s_ _all._

oOoOo

Souji shook his head again to clear the memories away, turning away from the family room and heading into the kitchen. It was hard to admit, even after all these years, that something like that bothered him. And it was difficult not to think about it, especially after moving to Inaba and learning how his little cousin was growing up in a similar way he had. It was why he spent so much time with Nanako, being with her and helping his uncle realize the mistake he was making by ignoring Nanako. He felt sorry for his little cousin…because he knew what it was like to feel so alone.

And along the way, he found himself truly content with the company of his cousin and uncle, more so than he expected to be when he first arrived in town. He enjoyed his time with these members of his family that he didn't know until mere months ago. Just having them there gave him a feeling he'd never experienced before, something that warmed his whole body whenever he saw their smiles.

And now that they were gone…the emptiness left behind seemed much greater than before.

He thought he could get used to it. He had before when he was little, so why couldn't he now? It should have been much easier to adjust to being alone until they returned from the hospital. Being left on his own was familiar to him growing up, so there shouldn't be any problem adjusting to their absence.

At least that's what he thought. But no matter how many times he told himself that, it was so hard to look into the empty refrigerator, seeing it look the same as it always did, and not feel that…something was _wrong_.

Unsure how, or perhaps unwilling, to deal with it at the moment, Souji pushed aside the growing ache in his chest and decided to distract himself by spending the day outside.


	2. Cries Will be Singing Silent Night

Placing the cake on the table, Souji sat on his couch and frowned a little. Somehow he felt that it wasn't enough; maybe he should have gotten something else to go with it. But having spent hours at Junes after school and making it out with _only_ the cake, he didn't think there was anything else he could do about it now.

Still, he hoped Yukiko would enjoy the cake, at least. After she messaged him the previous night asking to spend Christmas Eve together, he had spent that night and most of the day thinking about what to get her. School didn't give him too much time to search for a proper present, either. There were too many things he had considered getting for her, wondering whether she would like it or if she could use it.

He had spent so much time looking and thinking, in fact, that he realized that he still had nothing for her by the time it was close to her arrival at the house. Still needing some time to get ready before she came, he hurriedly purchased the cake and left.

Checking the time on his phone, though, he wondered if he still could have been able to pick something out for her. Or at the very least, made a Christmas cake for her himself.

Well, it was too late for that now. He would just have to hope for the best when she arrived.

He wondered what they would do when she came. Having never spent Christmas Eve this way before, he really had no idea of what kinds of things took place during the time…well, perhaps he had an _idea_ of what could take place, but he didn't want to _expect_ that sort of thing. And he wouldn't mind if the evening was simply spent sitting and talking.

He often missed nights like that…

oOoOo

_"_ _Hm?_ _"_ _Ota-san_ _said,_ _surprise_ _coloring_ _her_ _tone._ _"_ _You_ _want_ _to_ _do_ _what?_ _"_

_"I want to wait for my parents to come home to eat dinner," Souji repeated, swinging his legs as he sat at the table._

_The woman frowned, turning to look at him. "You know they won't be back until late tonight."_

_"I know, but I don't mind. I can wait."_

_She placed her hands on her hips. "You'll get hungry."_

_The boy shook his head. "I'll be okay."_

_Ota-san sighed uncertainly. "Are you sure about this?"_

_He nodded._

_"Well…" The woman looked at the clock. "All right. I guess there's nothing I can do, anyway. I have to be getting home."_

_Souji nodded again. He knew that Ota-san had kids of her own, including one his age, and he knew that she couldn't keep them waiting for her. Then he blinked a little when she placed a piece of paper with numbers by his hand._

_"If anything happens, make sure to call me," she instructed._

_He looked up at her. "Okay," he replied dutifully, though he didn't think much would really happen if he just sat at the table. "Be safe, Ota-san."_

_The woman gave him a smile, patting his head gently before heading off. He listened carefully, making sure to hear for the click of the door locking. But the sound echoed within the silence._

_Left alone, Souji stared at the food on the table in front of him. There was a lot of food out – Ota-san always made enough food for him to eat and his parents whenever they came home. He wondered if Ota-san worried that his parents didn't eat while they were working._

_He_ _did_ _his_ _best_ _to_ _ignore_ _his_ _growling_ _stomach._ _He_ was _pretty_ _hungry,_ _but_ _he_ _reminded_ _himself_ _that_ _he_ _was_ _waiting_ _for_ _his_ _parents._ _When_ _they_ _came_ _back_ _home,_ _then_ _the_ _three_ _of_ _them_ _would_ _eat_ _dinner_ _together._

_Just like they used to do._

_Besides, grown-ups sometimes had to wait to eat, right? So if he waited to eat, that made him a grown-up too…even just a little bit. And if he was more grown-up, then he could be good like his parents wanted him to be. They would like that, right?_

_He smiled a little, imagining his parents' happy faces when they saw him being such a good boy. That would be worth a little hungry tummy._

_So he sat, swinging his legs as he thought about what he'd tell his parents during dinner. He thought about showing them the drawing he did in class that day. He practiced drawing a lot, and his teacher even said that it was the best cat picture in the class. And maybe he'd tell them about how his friend had taught him to make origami cranes. He might not show them yet, though, at least not until he got better at it. His cranes still seemed to turn out kind of funny-looking._

_But maybe his parents would ask him for one anyway, and so he'd make one for each of them. And they'd smile and thank him for the paper crane, no matter what it looked like._

_Resting his head in his arms on the table, he closed his eyes and smiled. He couldn't wait for his parents to come home._

oOoOo

Souji smiled a little at the memory. Even if he hadn't eaten dinner with his parents that night, he had enjoyed waiting for them. Because he had spent all that time thinking about the people he cared for.

Looking down at the cake, he smiled again. Yes, as long as he had the thoughts of loved ones, he didn't mind waiting.

Still, as the doorbell chimed throughout the house and he hurried down the stairs to answer it, he was reminded that _thinking_ about loved ones was only second to actually getting to _be_ _with_ them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I chose Yukiko as the girlfriend, because I happen to like the Souji(Yu)/Yukiko pairing.


	3. If Only in My Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware of what the game implies that the MC and the girlfriend are doing during after the Christmas Eve scene. And two teenagers alone unsupervised in a house, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to think of what they might do. But I went for a more innocent approach to their evening together.

Souji released a shaky breath with each step he descended the staircase. 'So far so good,' he told himself. He just hoped that the rest of the night would go as well.

Reaching into his pocket, he fingered the leather keychain Yukiko had given him and smiled a little. He made a note to hook his keys on it later, wanting to make use of it. And he was glad that she enjoyed the cake he gave her. Thinking it over, it was better that he hadn't made the cake himself. He didn't want her to feel bad about her own cooking as she sometimes did already. If the evening ended on a note like this, then it would have been a good time.

But now that she was spending the night, he had to worry about the rest of their time together. And like Yukiko, he didn't know what they should do. He was aware of what couples _tended_ to do on Christmas Eve, but he didn't want her to think he _expected_ that from her. Since he was her first boyfriend, he didn't want to pressure her into something like that.

Besides, it was nice spending time with her. He enjoyed talking with her and making her smile…and he didn't even mind when she started laughing in that…way she did. It was nice just _being_ with her.

Then again, it was nice just having _anyone_ around again.

Placing a kettle on the stove, he frowned as he thought back to when Yukiko asked to stay the night. He had answered so quickly, so eagerly without even thinking about it. He really hoped that she didn't misinterpret his meaning.

He shook his head, taking some teacups from the cupboard. When did he get so desperate for a person's company? It was almost pathetic in a way.

But then, maybe he was _always_ desperate for some company. He always seemed to do strange things to be with others…even if those attempts didn't always work out…

oOoOo

_Blinking_ _slowly,_ _Souji_ _found_ _himself_ _looking_ _up_ _at_ _the_ _ceiling._ _Confused,_ _he_ _sat_ _up_ _and_ _was_ _surprised_ _to_ _see_ _that_ _he_ _was_ _in_ _his_ _room._

_'Did I fall asleep?' he wondered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was halfway through a yawn when realization struck him._

_'If I fell asleep, then my parents…' He frowned, wishing they had woken him up._

_Before disappointment could settle, though, he heard some noisy shuffling out in the hall. Listening for a moment, Souji then threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, dashing out towards the front door just in time to see his mother, dressed for work and slipping on her shoes._

_"Mother," he called after her._

_The woman paused and turned to look at the child._

_Souji hesitated, silenced by the embarrassment of being unable to stay awake the previous night and the sadness of missing the chance to eat dinner with his parents._

_The woman frowned. "Souji, I don't like what you did last night."_

_He stiffened. "Huh?"_

_"Sleeping at the table without eating," she clarified. "You shouldn't have done that. You're supposed to be a good boy and listen to me or your father or Ota-san. You know better than to cause trouble."_

_"I…" Souji fidgeted, his shoulders sagging as he looked at his feet. "Yes, Mother. I'm sorry."_

_The woman nodded, satisfied. "All right. I made breakfast for you. Make sure to eat it before going to school."_

_"Yes, Mother," he repeated obediently, his eyes rising just so slightly to look at his mother through his bangs._

_But all he caught sight of was the trail of her hair as she left. Then the door closed, and she was gone._

oOoOo _  
_

The whistling of the kettle pulled Souji back to reality, and he shook his head to clear the memory from his mind. Now was not the time to be thinking of things like that. That was a long time ago, and he had gotten over it.

Right?

With another firm shake of his head, he set to work on the tea in front of him. He had someone important waiting for him upstairs.

* * *

Yukiko sat on the couch in Souji's room, fidgeting nervously with her red flannel pajamas. She had been so relieved that Souji had offered to make tea so that she could change. But she had to admit that, with every passing minute, she was beginning to regret the decision to spend the night.

Not that she didn't want to _be_ with Souji. She did, honestly, more than anything. She loved spending time with him, to be with him after a day of their busy schedules, and talking with him about things besides the investigation. She loved _him_ , as she told him just moments ago.

But when she had asked to stay, he had seemed so enthusiastic about the idea. And she couldn't deny how _nervous_ that made her feel. Of course she trusted Souji, with all her heart, but…were they going to…? Could she really do _that_?

She jumped a little at the knock on the door. "Yukiko?" Souji called from the other side, and she released a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Come in," she replied, her voice softer than she would have liked.

The door slowly opened, and she saw a gray eye peak through the crack, as though still checking to see if it was safe. She bit back a giggle as the door fully opened and Souji entered with a tray of tea.

With a small smile, he placed the tray on the table as she scooted over to make room for him on the couch. He sat beside her and took the cups, offering one to her.

"Thank you," she murmured. For some reason she was unable to look at him.

Things were silent for a moment, and Yukiko occupied herself with sipping her tea. Then Souji looked at her. "Something wrong?" he wondered.

"Um…" She played with the cup in her hands. "About…about me…spending the night…"

She risked a glance at him, and was struck by the _miserable_ expression he wore; not in his face, his features remained as stoic as ever. But she could see it in his eyes, a pain so clear as if he'd just been rejected, and for that moment she felt her heart break.

Then he blinked and it was gone, and he looked as though he had expected her to say that. "Yes?" he prompted.

She bit her tongue, feeling more uncertain than ever. No matter how brief it had been, that _look_ …she couldn't bear to be responsible for a look so forlorn like that, especially on someone like Souji. But what was she supposed to do?

Seeing that he was waiting for her to continue, she blushed a little and played with her hands on her lap. "I…I'd still like to stay tonight, if that's okay…"

Souji blinked, as though startled by that. "Really?"

She nodded. "But…I don't think I'm… _ready_ …for anything else."

Looking up at him again, she was surprised to see that he was smiling. "That's okay," he said. "I wouldn't push you to do anything you don't want to do."

She sighed, relieved. "Really?"

His smile turned into a small smirk. "You don't believe me?"

Blushing, she shook her head. "No! I mean, yes! I mean…!" She cleared her throat, gathering her thoughts. "Thank you."

His smile warmed again, the kind that always made her heart melt. "Of course," he replied. "I understand."

And as he paused to drink his tea, Yukiko realized that he really _did_ understand. Those few moments that she reconsidered staying the night, her parents' warnings about young men and "what they all were _really_ after" echoed in her mind, and she had been afraid that _that_ was the real reason Souji wanted her to stay. But even if he _did_ want that, she could see that he was sincere when he said that he wouldn't push her if she didn't want to do it. It even seemed as though he anticipated events to turn out that way.

Which made Yukiko wonder; if he wasn't thinking about… _that_ …then what else could have possibly made him look so upset before? Even if it was only a passing moment, why did he seem so hurt?

She didn't have much of a chance to consider it, however, when she caught the embarrassed expression that crossed Souji's face. "What?" she asked.

Souji gave a small, sheepish smile. "I just…hope you don't mind if we both still sleep in here tonight."

She blinked, heat once again filling her cheeks. "What?"

He chuckled a little, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, it's just kind of cold in the rest of the house…especially downstairs."

Yukiko frowned. She _had_ noticed that when she arrived.

"It won't be too bad, though. I can sleep here…" he patted the couch, "and you can take my futon."

She looked to the futon in the corner of the room, then back to the couch. Though grateful that he was being so nice about this situation, she still felt rather guilty about her relief that they would be sleeping in two different places. Besides, there was one other thing she noticed. "Won't the couch be too small for you?"

Souji shrugged. "I'll manage."

She frowned and shook her head. "It'd probably be easier for me to sleep on the couch than you. I can sleep here, and you can keep your futon."

"The couch isn't that comfortable, to be honest."

"It's okay. I'm shorter, so I should be able to fit here better than you."

He gave her a quizzical tip of the head. "Are you sure?"

She smiled and nodded. It was the least she could do.

Hesitating for a moment, Souji finally acquiesced. "All right, if you say so." He rose to his feet, most likely to get things for her to sleep on, then paused and turned back to her. "But if you can't sleep, just wake me up. I'll be happy to switch places."

Yukiko laughed softly, politely. "Don't worry, Souji-kun. I'll be fine."

* * *

She should have just taken the futon.

With a soft sigh that echoed throughout the darkness, Yukiko rolled onto her back for probably the millionth time that night. Fidgeting to try and get relaxed, and failing, she groaned and rolled onto her side again and stared at the television across the room.

Souji wasn't kidding when he said the couch wasn't comfortable.

Tapping cold fingers against the cushion, she yawned and tried to think of what to do. Fatigue was weighing heavily on her, and all she wanted was to fall asleep. But she just couldn't on that couch. She already lost track of how long she lay there in the dark just _trying_. It was just too uncomfortable for her to sleep on.

_If you can't sleep, just wake me up. I'll be happy to switch places._

She frowned as she heard Souji's words in her mind. She hated the thought of waking him up and asking him to switch for her, especially after insisting that she would sleep fine there. But she couldn't deny how temping the thought of sleeping on the futon was.

Her body twitched slightly, pleading for her to shift position again. Instead she pushed the blanket off her body and sat up, slipping off the couch and crossing the room to kneel by the futon.

"Souji-kun," she whispered, gently shaking his shoulder.

Souji rolled onto his back but did not wake, instead settling down again into a deeper sleep.

Yukiko pouted and placed her hand on his arm. "Souji-kun…you said I could wake you if I can't sleep. It's your turn on the couch now."

She was about to try shaking his shoulder again when he suddenly reached up, grabbing her by the wrist. She squeaked, frozen as she watched him.

"Don't go…" he whispered.

Yukiko blinked, wondering what he was dreaming about. Then her eyes widened as she watched a tear trail down Souji's cheek.

"Please…" he murmured again, "don't…leave me…alone…"

He released his grip on her wrist as his hand dropped back to the futon, but Yukiko stayed frozen where she was, her heart rapidly pounding as she stared at Souji. And as more drops trailed down his face, she could feel tears of her own burn behind her eyes.

What was he dreaming about that would cause such a reaction like that? How often did something like this happen? Were…were his dreams _always_ like this?

Inhaling deeply, Yukiko swallowed and tried to think. It was beginning to make some sense now, why he had seemed so upset when he thought she was leaving. Even for that one instant, what she saw then was Souji at his most open, his most vulnerable…she had seen him unguarded, witnessed a side of himself that he hardly showed anyone.

She saw just how _lonely_ he really was.

How could they have forgotten? Even Yosuke had pointed it out before; Souji had been living by himself ever since Nanako and Dojima were admitted in the hospital. That was nearly two months ago, but even though they _knew_ , there had been so much going on that they didn't have time to dwell on it. And Souji never really _said_ anything about it.

But Souji never talking about it didn't make him any less lonely.

Hesitantly Yukiko reached up, gently brushing Souji's bangs from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Souji-kun," she whispered.

* * *

_Unlocking_ _the_ _door,_ _Souji_ _pushed_ _it_ _open_ _and_ _peaked_ _inside._ _"I'm_ _home,"_ _he_ _called._ _But_ _judging_ _by_ _the_ _darkness_ _down_ _the_ _hallway,_ _he_ _knew_ _that_ _there_ _was_ _no_ _one_ _around_ _to_ _hear_ _him._

_He removed his shoes and headed inside, looking around and confirming that the house was indeed empty. Not even Ota-san had stopped by yet._

_He shuffled his feet as he headed into his room to put his bag away. It was okay, he told himself. He was getting used to coming home to an empty house. He would just wait until Ota-san came later._

_As he headed into the living room to watch a little television, though, he paused as he passed by the kitchen, looking at the table. He wondered if he should try waiting for his parents again to eat dinner. Even though he had fallen asleep last night, he thought he'd be able to stay up tonight._

I don't like what you did.

_Souji's_ _stomach_ _tightened_ _as_ _his_ _mother's_ _words_ _repeated_ _in_ _his_ _head._

You shouldn't have done that. You're supposed to be a good boy and listen to me or your father or Ota-san. You know better than to cause trouble.

_'I'm_ _sorry,'_ _Souji_ _thought,_ _sniffling_ _as_ _he_ _turned_ _away_ _from_ _the_ _table._ _'I_ _wasn't_ _trying_ _to_ _cause_ _trouble._ _I_ _just_ _wanted_ _…_ _things_ _to_ _be_ _like_ _they_ _used_ _to_ _be._ _I_ _wanted_ _…_ _I_ _wanted_ _us_ _to_ _be_ _together_ _again…'_

oOoOo

His mind eased back to the waking world, but Souji kept his eyes closed for a moment longer, enjoying the warmth he was buried in. He didn't want to get up just yet. As he reached up to wipe away something irritating his eyes, he wasn't all that surprised to feel the gather of moisture building up behind his lids.

It always seemed to happen whenever he had _that_ particular dream. And while the dream didn't come that often any longer, it had been more frequent since his uncle and cousin had been in the hospital.

Souji frowned a little. It was a bit embarrassing to still be having a dream like that, especially since he couldn't seem to stop crying about it. And he was surprised that he had dreams about when he was a kid, even after all these years. All that happened so long ago. He had gotten used to it already, and it shouldn't have bothered him anymore.

So why did it feel like it still did?

Ignoring the question for now, Souji stretched a little and rolled onto his side, finally opening his eyes…and was greeted with the sight of Yukiko's sleeping face right next to his.

Souji stiffened, his heart hammering in his chest. He was abruptly aware of the feeling of Yukiko's body curled up right next to him, and he wondered how he hadn't realized it before. How long had she been there? And why was she even there in the first place?

Suddenly she stirred and her eyes blinked open, and a twinge of worry crept into Souji's mind as she sleepily looked up at him. He certainly didn't remember her coming into his futon, so he was pretty sure that he hadn't done anything to force her into it. Even so, Yukiko (as well as the rest of the girls) had a tendency to overreact about things and lash out at him and the other guys, even if the guys weren't at fault. Even if he _didn_ _'_ _t_ know how she got there, it wouldn't stop her from getting angry at him if she so chose.

Then Yukiko smiled, and Souji relaxed a bit. At least she wasn't going to get mad at him. But he still questioned what she was doing there in the first place. If she hadn't wanted to sleep on the couch any longer, why hadn't she woken him? Maybe she was cold and was trying to get warm? But somehow that didn't seem right either. Climbing into bed with him implied something of intimacy, but Souji suspected that she hadn't changed her mind about _that_. So what had Yukiko been trying to accomplish?

And there was something about her smile…it was a small smile, gentle and sweet but almost indicating that she _knew_ something. And then his stomach tightened as he realized that she _did_ know something.

She _knew_ …because she had seen him crying.

Self-consciously he closed his eyes, unable to look at her and not sure what to say. He never told any of them about this; not only because it was embarrassing, but because he wasn't sure that he could. They had required him to be a leader; calm throughout the investigation of a strange murder, strong as they battled their way through the strange television world. To be so upset about such a little thing…it certainly wasn't what any of them needed. And he was used to dealing with it on his own; it just didn't seem like sharing it was necessary.

And even if it was just a bit of his troubles, Yukiko had seen. So what was he supposed to do now?

He opened his eyes again when he felt Yukiko's hand on his arm, and he looked at her reluctantly. He wasn't sure how to handle the understanding gaze in her eyes. Then without a word she snuggled closer to him, burying her face in his chest. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Something in his chest throbbed, making the whole situation awkward and leaving him uncertain and confused.

But as Yukiko's warmth enveloped his body, he found that for now, he didn't really mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely familiar with Christmas traditions in Japan, but I know that over there, Christmas Eve is more of a romantic holiday than anything else, like Valentine's Day. Hopefully I did all right with that.


	4. Just One Wish

Souji watched the girls discussing their plans for the Christmas cake with a smile, standing back with the other guys in the Junes grocery department. As worried as he was about the thought of the girls making _anything_ , he couldn't blame them for being excited.

He had to admit that he was pretty excited as well, after receiving the news that his uncle and cousin were finally being released from the hospital. And knowing that his friends were looking forward to seeing Nanako again, knowing that they were as happy as he was to hear that she was getting better, he realized just how fortunate his cousin was to have so many people who cared about her. And he was pretty lucky that his friends were willing to spend their Christmas welcoming her home.

Thinking of the house Nanako would be returning to, though, made Souji frown. Considering his options for a moment, he then looked to the girls. "Will you girls be all right getting the ingredients by yourself?" he wondered.

All eyes turned to him curiously. "By ourselves?" Chie repeated.

"Are you _crazy_?" Yosuke hissed. "You actually want to leave them _alone_ for this?"

"Besides, who's gonna carry the stuff after we buy everything?" Rise asked.

Souji gave a small smile. "Well, I just thought that while you girls are getting the ingredients for the…cake…the guys and I would go ahead to the house and fix it up before Nanako and my uncle get back."

"Oh yeah?" Teddie asked, his eager eyes wide. "I can do that! I can help!"

"Is the place pretty messy?" Kanji asked.

"I guess there wasn't really a point to cleaning up when you're just living by yourself, huh?" Yosuke said.

Yukiko blinked curiously. "But your house didn't seem that messy when I was there last night," she said.

As several eyes looked at her in surprise, Yukiko realized exactly what she said and blushed deeply.

Souji cleared his throat, fighting off a blush of his own as the group's attention returned to him. "It's not that the house is really messy or anything. But I admit I haven't been attending to it as much as I should have lately. And if we're going to have a Christmas party for Nanako, I just thought that we should get the place ready for her…you know, make it _feel_ warmer and more welcoming."

"I see," Naoto said with an understanding nod. "Of course. You go on ahead, and we'll meet you there when we're finished here."

Souji returned the nod. "Sounds good." With a worried glance at the other girls, he addressed the detective with a low murmur, "Just try to keep an eye on them, okay?"

"All right!" Teddie exclaimed as he followed after the other guys. "Let's get cleaning!"

* * *

_"What's_ _for_ _dinner,_ _Ota-san?"_ _Souji_ _asked,_ _watching_ _the_ _woman_ _cook_ _from_ _the_ _table._

_"Curry," the woman replied, her tone somewhat annoyed. "I need to remind your mother to go shopping soon." Looking back at the child, she smiled. "Are you going to eat dinner before I leave this time?"_

_Souji hesitated, wondering what to do. He still thought that he could stay up and wait for his parents this time if he really tried. But after a moment, he replied, "Yes, Ota-san."_

_Ota-san nodded approvingly and turned back to her cooking. "Good. After I left, I was really worried about you. Especially when your mother told me that you fell asleep without eating. That's not good for you, you know."_

_Souji frowned, remaining silent as he looked down at the table. Just as his mother said, he had caused so much trouble, not just for his parents but for Ota-san as well, that he accepted that it was better he wasn't trying to wait for his parents again. He knew better than to ever do it again._

_Tapping his fingers on the table, he then looked up and watched as Ota-san continued making dinner. Seeing all the food the woman was preparing, Souji asked, "You make dinner for Mom and Dad too, right?"_

_Ota-san nodded. "Yes. Usually I put some away for your parents so they have something to eat when they get home."_

_Scratching his head, Souji then slipped off his chair and stood next to woman, looking up at her. "Ota-san?"_

_She looked down at the child. "Yes, Souji-kun?"_

_He held his hands behind his back, shuffling his foot against the floor. "Will…will you teach me how to cook?"_

_She blinked. "You want to learn how to cook?"_

_Souji nodded._

_"Well…" Ota-san placed her hands on her hips. "If you really want to learn, I guess I could. You want to start by helping me with dinner?"_

_Souji nodded, pulling up a chair to stand on so he could reach the counter. He listened as Ota-san told him what she was doing, and did whatever she asked him to do, glad that he could help. If he couldn't wait to eat dinner with his parents, then he could at least help make the food they would eat later._

oOoOo _  
_

As he finished putting the cleaning supplies away, Souji smiled and released a satisfied sigh. He rose to his full height and wiped his forehead with his sleeve.

"Are we all done, Sensei?" Teddie wondered.

"Looks like it," Souji confirmed with a small nod.

Yosuke leaned back against the wall. "Finally," he groaned. "That took forever."

"It wasn't that bad," Kanji protested. "The place was already pretty clean to begin with."

"But now it's super clean!" Teddie asserted, pointing a triumphant finger in the air.

Yosuke appeared ready to respond, but his words died as a clatter rang out, drawing the boys' attention to the kitchen where the girls were.

"Whoops…" Chie said. She snatched an overturned bowl off the floor, leaving a trail of white powder behind.

"Hey, careful!" Yosuke called to them. "We just cleaned there!"

"Well, what do you expect us to do?" Chie replied. "We're baking, and that tends to get a little messy!"

"Besides, we're doing this for Nanako-chan," Rise added. "So a little mess will be worth it for a cake _this_ special!"

Naoto frowned. "All the same, perhaps we _should_ refrain from making a mess, if only to keep from wasting ingredients."

"Hmm…oh, here we go," Yukiko said, having not paid attention to the conversation around her. Instead she pointed to a piece of paper. "Okay, so here's the next step…"

Yosuke grumbled a bit as the girls resumed the baking and sat at the kotatsu in the sitting room. Looking at Souji, he said, "I still think it was a bad idea letting them make the cake."

Since his normal spot was already occupied, Souji sat across from Yosuke in the spot where Nanako usually sat. He had never sat there before, not even during the time Nanako was in the hospital, and it felt strange sitting there now.

From his position, though, he could clearly see the girls working in the kitchen. And he had to admit, he was also pretty nervous about the girls making the cake, given their cooking experiences. But to Yosuke, all he said was, "That's why we cleaned the kitchen first."

Kanji and Teddie also joined them at the kotatsu, Kanji on one end and Teddie on the other. "Yeah, at least that way they won't put anything non-edible in the cake," Kanji joked. Then he frowned as the realization hit them all that something like that was entirely _possible_. "Hopefully…"

"But this is gonna be great!" Teddie sang, undeterred by the thought of the Christmas edition of Mystery Food X. "A party in a super-clean, happy house and Christmas cake!" He turned to Souji. "Nana-chan's gonna be really happy, right?"

With a small smile, Souji nodded. At least he hoped she would be. He'd wanted to do something really special for her, to make sure she really felt welcomed back. And if it meant taking a few hours to fix up the house or risk letting the girls cook, then it would be worth it as long as Nanako was happy. He wanted to let her know just how much they – he – cared for her.

And as long as he had a chance to do something, he didn't mind doing whatever he could to show the people he cared for just how important they were to him.

Wondering what time it was, he reached into his pocket only to find that he didn't have his cellphone. He frowned, then remembered he left it in his room. He wasn't exactly sure what time his uncle and Nanako were being released, but he figured that he should at least have his phone, just in case they called and he needed to get them. So he got up, leaving the conversation that Kanji, Teddie, and Yosuke were having to head up to his room.

But he paused as he passed the foyer, thinking he heard something outside. Of course it was difficult to tell with all the noise in the kitchen and the sitting room, but he thought…

He froze when the door slowly opened, and his breath caught in his throat as Dojima entered first, helping Nanako as she followed after him.

Nanako noticed him first, and her face lit up with a large, bright smile; one that he hadn't seen in what felt like an eternity. "Onii-chan!" she exclaimed. Despite the softness in her voice, it was clear enough to stop all the noise around them.

Dojima looked up then, and seeing Souji gave his own smile; small, embarrassed, but something warm and familiar that Souji had recently missed. "Hey," his uncle said. "We're home."

For some reason he felt his heart leap, and for no reason he could explain, the promise of tears stung his eyes. But he blinked them away, a wide smile breaking over his expression as he spoke the words he ached to say for so long; "Welcome home."

When she was close enough, Nanako hugged him as tightly as she could. "I've missed you, Onii-chan!"

His smile wavered slightly, not in a bad way, as his arms wrapped around her as well. "I've missed you, too," he murmured, the words thick with emotion.

Suddenly Teddie swept up behind him, his body radiating with excitement. "Nana-chan!"

Looking up, Nanako gasped happily. "Teddie!"

Soon everyone gathered around, eager to see the young girl. "Welcome back," Nanako-chan!" they said.

"Oh wow!" Nanako bubbled. "Everyone's here!"

"Of course," Yosuke said. "You didn't think we'd miss your homecoming, did you?"

"But man!" Rise suddenly pouted. "We were hoping to have the cake done before you got home!"

Nanako looked up at her. "There's cake?" she asked eagerly.

"Not yet," Yukiko said. "But there will be soon."

"Unless we don't finish," Naoto pointed out, "which we might not if we don't get back to it."

"Hang tight, Nanako-chan," Chie said as the girls hurried back into the kitchen.

"C'mon, Nana-chan!" Teddie said. He helped her into the sitting room as Kanji and Yosuke followed them, keeping an eye on the hyperactive blond and making sure he didn't accidentally hurt her.

Watching them with a smile, Souji then turned to his uncle as they stood in the corridor between the foyer and the main room. His uncle's eyes glanced around, a thoughtful frown on his features.

"Uncle?" Souji asked.

Dojima turned to him, the curious frown still on his lips. "Did you clean the house?"

"You can tell?"

The older man nodded. "It just seems…different somehow. I noticed it outside too."

For some reason, Souji suddenly felt nervous as he watched his uncle look around. He knew there really was no reason for it, but he couldn't help but feel worried, and his mother's words came unbeckoned to his mind.

 _You_ _shouldn_ _'_ _t_ _have_ _done_ _that_.

Then Dojima turned to him and granted him a smile. "You didn't have to do that," he said.

Souji blinked; the words were a far cry from the disapproving tone he imagined they would be. Then again, this was a different time in a different place, with an entirely different person. "It's okay," he managed to answer. "I just thought that you and Nanako would prefer to return to a straightened up, comfortable house."

With a soft chuckle, Dojima looked again around the house before turning to Souji. "Well…thanks."

Souji shrugged. "It's no problem. Actually, the guys helped too, so it wasn't too hard."

Dojima shook his head. "Not just for that. For _everything_. Seeing all this…" He motioned to the kitchen and sitting room – to the people who filled them. "Seeing Nanako so happy…it's a really nice thing to come home to."

Looking in as well, Souji's eyes took in the sight of his friends and cousin, some of the people he had grown so close to…the people who had become so important to him. He watched them talking and laughing, having fun and the smiles on their faces. A rush of emotions swelled up inside him, spreading throughout his body and widening the smile on his face.

"Yeah," he agreed. "It really is."

He turned to Dojima, who grinned and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Then the two headed into the sitting room, surrounding themselves further with the gentle and steady warmth of their home.


End file.
